


When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her.

by Shaish



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bloodplay, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Knifeplay, M/M, Sex, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 01:55:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4245123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaish/pseuds/Shaish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chinese Translation here; http://archiveofourown.org/works/4268442?view_adult=true<br/>Russian Translation here; https://ficbook.net/readfic/4578972</p>
            </blockquote>





	When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been coerced into doing a knifeplay/bloodplay fic in a group chat I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAPPY MY WRIST DID NOT APPRECIATE THIS TOO MUCH.  
> I listened to Selena Gomez (The Heart Wants What It Wants) and Hozier (Sedated, Work Song) writing this I hope that gives you some idea what was going on in my head.
> 
> This work has been translated into Chinese by Cindy <3 : http://archiveofourown.org/works/4268442?view_adult=true
> 
> CINDY FOUND THE PERFECT SONG: https://youtu.be/8IHFVn0sv14  
> It's going to be the theme of the longer story that goes with this, too.
> 
> Russian Translation here; https://ficbook.net/readfic/4578972

“Are you sure?”

“I trust you.”

Bucky shakes his head a little, brushing his thumb along Steve’s cheek.

“That’s not what I was asking.”

Steve leans up, presses his lips soft to Bucky’s chin, stubble rough, a comfort.

“Yes, it was,” Steve whispers there.

Bucky shudders a little above him, a warm earthquake that ripples through his own body, and Steve feels the blade press to his collarbone, then, gives his own shudder when it slides down his chest, point pressed, sharp, just light enough to pierce the skin.

He slowly lowers himself back to the bed and Bucky follows, dips his head and draws his tongue up the stinging trail, _warm-wet_ where it slides. Steve’s heartbeat picks up and he feels the knife shift, sucks in a breath when the cool flat of it presses to a nipple, back arching up into it. The sharp edge of the blade _presses_ and he hears Bucky pull in a breath, shift, feels the ends of Bucky’s bangs drag and tickle across his skin before Bucky’s tongue is swiping up the new line of red, breaths hot like the rest of him, warming Steve deeper than he’s felt since before-

Bucky shifts, pushes up on an elbow, and Steve opens his eyes from where they’d fallen closed.

He hadn’t even noticed.

He watches Bucky shift the knife to his left hand, pause, then shift it back to his right, switching elbows. Steve waits, lets him decide how much he trusts himself ( _and which sides_ ).

Bucky hovers the knife above Steve’s neck with his right, reaching down between them with his left. Steve feels the cockhead nudge between his cheeks and spreads his legs wider, Bucky settling more snuggly between them.

“You’re sure?” Bucky asks, looking down at him, hair framing his face like some dark angel. Steve would laugh at himself if he could catch enough of a breath to.

“Buck,” Steve breathes, reaching a hand up, draws his fingertips down Bucky’s cheek and holds it still when Bucky closes his eyes and presses lips to his palm, “When you’re ready.” Bucky snorts a small sound, almost a laugh, but shifts his hips and starts pressing inside-

Bucky’s eyes open, fall down and lock back on Steve’s, and Steve’s breath catches in his chest, knife blade lowering, _pressing_ in time with the way Bucky’s eyes freeze over, just as slow as his cock pushing inside, until-

Steve blows out a slow, shaky breath when Bucky’s all the way in, heart beating thirty miles a minute like a drum in counterpoint to Bucky’s slow, steady rhythm. Rabbit heart and war drums, quick and constant.

That’s always been them, through and through, two halves of a whole.

Steve pulls in a breath when Bucky pulls out a few inches and presses back inside, and keeps himself still, body taut and cock hard between their stomachs, rubbing up against the trail of hair leading down to Bucky’s own cock and the scars, _fuck_ , _Steve can feel his scars rubbing against the skin of his cock._ It shouldn’t do anything for him, they’re pain markers, every point Bucky had to go through something Steve failed to save him from, but-

But they’re life markers, too, every point Bucky survived and conquered, became _king_ in a godless place of monsters disguised as men and men disguised as monsters.

“ _Buck_ ,” Steve breathes, head tilting back a little but eyes staying locked with his, can’t look anywhere else, shivers, lets the frozen heat in gray-blue steal his breath away. He spreads his legs a little wider and lets each slow slide knock his world off center, right it back the way Bucky wants it.

“ _задание_ ,” Bucky replies, soft, low, quiet, eyes going half-lidded while he rocks slow, thrusts sedate, dangerously _patient_. He bends down and presses his lips to newly healed skin and Steve _shudders_ , sucks in a small _gasp_.

His cock’s _straining_ , leaking already between them.

 _Fuck_ , _he’s fucked up._

“ _Please_ ,” Steve whispers, just on the edge of begging, and the Winter Soldier presses the blade more firmly to his throat, enough that Steve feels warmth bead, slip out in a thin trail against metal to wrap around his throat like a ribbon, slide back into the back of his hair and drip to the bed, stain the pillow case red.

Winter’s thrusts pick up and so do Steve’s breaths, moaning light and shaky on the end of each one. “ _Please, please_ ,” he pants, hands lifting, hovering, not sure if he can _touch_.

Sometimes he can, sometimes he can’t.

The thrusts get _harder_ ; he feels Winter’s hips angle _up_ , cock hitting his prostate, and Steve sucks in another, sharp _gasp_ , hands finally falling to grip Winter’s hips. Steve’s moans get louder, toes curling against the sheets while his eyes finally fall closed, but he forces them back open to look up, sees Winter staring intently and hazily back.

“ _красивый_ ,” Winter says, dangerously soft, and bends down to lick the trail up, lifting the knife, thrusts going shallower, _deeper_ with the motion, making Steve _moan_ , fingertips digging into Bucky’s scarred skin. The knife settles back to his neck when Winter pushes up a bit, left arm braced next to his head on the bed, recutting into the newly healed skin, making it _sting_.

“ _Mmnnn_ ,” Steve moans, biting his lower lip, toes curling again against the sheets while he pants through his nose, chest rising and falling like great cities that burned to the ground centuries long past.

They’re both as old as some of them.

“ _Тебе идет красный цвет_ ,” Winter comments breathily, and Steve doesn’t know what he’s saying, can barely think past the lusty haze fogging up his head, but it _sounds_ like a compliment. Winter starts grinding on the end of each thrust and Steve loses his train of thought, blood trailing again around the curve of his neck.

He takes a risk - it always is with Winter - and slides his hands around to the curve of Winter’s lower back, digs his fingertips in and slowly drags them _up_ -

Winter shudders, hips and breath stuttering. Steve can feel his cock hardening further inside and then it draws out further, sliding back in, long and steady thrusts that rock him a little against the bed, not enough for the headboard to hit the wall but enough to shake the world around him, send him spiralling down the rabbit hole of _heat_ and murmured ‘ _Fuck_ ’s.

He feels the knife move from his neck, draw down his chest and around to his side, count each rib like a child dragging a stick along the fence - _patpatpat_ \- and the tip press to his side, sharp and sweet. Steve _groans_ , back arching a little further, and feels _wet-heat_ slide up the center of his neck, tips his head back for Winter’s tongue cresting at his chin.

“ _Fuck, **please** ,_” Steve _does_ beg, a breathy whisper, and the knife digs in like phrased betrayal and slides _down_ , down to the top of his hip while the thrusts slow and then _speed up_ , _warm_ slipping down to stain the bed. Steve spreads his thighs flat to the bed and welcomes him, welcomes in the cold that freezes him over and makes him _melt_.

He feels Winter’s tongue drag up, trace the edge of his jaw with whispered Russian, teeth nipping slow at his ear, thrusts long and slow again, rocking him like water meeting the shore and- _fuck_.

The knife comes back and Steve tilts his head back more, lets his moans go loud as it presses, his voice vibrating against the metal, Winter’s thrusts getting shallow, _deep_ , hitting his prostate each time and Steve’s breaths speed up like he’s _running_ , like he’s run all his life and now he’s finally about to _stop_ -

The knife _presses_ and Winter’s thrusts go _sharp_ and _hard_ as the blade at his throat and Steve _comes_ with a shouted, “ _Ah-! **Fuck!**_ ” back bowing and muscles tensing, fingertips pressing to Winter’s back, scars and smooth skin stitched together between his hands.

His cum streaks up between their stomachs, gets rubbed into their skin while Winter continues to thrust until _he’s_ coming, too, with a soft _groan_ pressed just below the corner of Steve’s jaw, metal fingers curling and digging into the sheets next to his head.

Winter’s thrusts slow, rock them both through it until they finally stop, their breaths filling the silence in the air.

The knife is slowly lifted away. He can feel Winter shift and then warm-wet cleaning up the mess on his skin.

“ _I love you_ ,” Steve whispers, feels slight shifting and then a soft _thump_ , mattress briefly trembling.

He cracks his eyes open and turns his head to see the knife sticking out of the mattress, and knows that Winter’s way of saying ‘ _I love you, too_ ’.

Knows it each time it’s not _him_ that gets stabbed through. This time is the seventh.

Steve closes his eyes and turns his head back forward, trying to catch his breath, feels Winter bury his face against Steve’s neck once he’s finished licking up the ribbons of red and Steve slowly shifts, wraps both arms and legs around him and holds Bucky through the transition.

He feels warm and cool flesh and metal cradle his sides after a minute, his ribcage, his waist, gentle at first and then more firm while Bucky slowly starts to shake.

Steve holds him through it, through the warm tears that start to coat his skin and the trembling and whispers ‘ _Shhh_ ’ with soft kisses pressed to dark hair and says over and over:

“ _I love you_.”

And from him, it’s the same as:

 _I trust you_.

“ _I love you,_ ” Bucky whispers back, shaky, and from him, it means the same thing.

It always has.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the google translate. If anything is egregiously inaccurate please let me know and I will fix it right away.  
> Edit: Thank you Katherine!
> 
> задание - Mission  
> красивый - Beautiful  
> Тебе идет красный цвет - You look beautiful in red


End file.
